Baseball: Now With 100% More Ginger

God Help Us All

Just when you thought last night's game couldn't be more depressing, an Ian Kinsler foul ball finds its way to a Ginger Campbell lookalike. The soulless ginger army is gathering.

You Yourself Are Too Serious

A Pig And An Ass Walk Into A Bar

While Fletcher shows his unprofessionalism, Ginger, being the fuckface that he is, shows how much of an asshole he is by pointing it out. Ginger, if you can mute your mics, why don't you mute yours before you embarrass your coworker on the air? What a cunt.

Campbell's Childhood Scares Me

Pine Tar Gone Too Far

In what began as a dicussion about those two fat attention whore umpires behind homeplate ended up being one of the funniest exchanges between Ginger and Fletcher I've ever heard. We also finally learn that Ginger's retardation comes from his sniffing of pine tar as a child, the same pine tar Fletcher insinuates Ginger masturbated with.

Burnett Sucks

Darrin Is Useless

Maybe it's just me, but wouldn't saying your new boss is better than your old boss be a lot like, oh, I don't know, saying your new boss is better than your old boss? Is it really that cryptic that it required Darrin's insightful girlfriend analogy?

Campbell Is Gay

Are you fucking kidding me? Goddamnit, how is this guy involved with baseball at all when he says shit like this?

Worst Chemistry Ever

I couldn't decide if this clip was worse at the start, with Darrin's completely unnecessary explanation of "carving" (which made no sense with the sinker) and Ginger's obvious impatience with it, or at the end when Ginger talks shit about Darrin for no reason. If I didn't hate Darrin during the entire game with his incessant babbling, I'd feel bad.

Playoffs!

Enjoy.

Keep Your Day Job

Ginger's Terrible Howarth Impersonation

Bad impersonations are really high up on my list of shit that pisses me right the fuck off. After hearing Ginger Campbell impersonate Harry Kalas (a clip I can't find), I figured he would have learned to never do that again. Last night, on a strange play where Jose Bautista's ground ball started to spin back into fair territory, Jason Giambi picked it up as it hit the line. Ginger decided, for whatever reason, that he would let all the viewers (most who likely do not know how much better the radio broadcasts are than the television ones) what Jerry Howarth would sound like calling the play. I don't know why Ginger felt he should do that. Oh, right, because he's a fuckface.

The Downward Speieral

Jamie And The Melonheads  

I'll be honest, the only reason I even posted this clip was because of the insanely clever post title I came up with. Anyway, Ginger and Rance discuss four guys who, pictured above, did a great job getting on camera. Later in the game the fans returned with tickets so they were in the right section. Suck it, Rance. On a seperate note, what is with the ushers in LAAAAA?

Jamie Loves Peter North  

Yes, I am this immature. It just seemed so unnecessary to me. You know he has the vocabulary but it's like he refuses to use it at times.

Chicago Is Overweight

The Dude Abides 

With the Jays up 4-3 in the top of the 9th against Bobby Jenks, Rios is fouling off pitches and working an 0-2 count. One of his foul balls makes its way down the third base line where two large women have fallen over and struggle to get back into their seats. Ginger and Darrin discuss accordingly. 

A Ringing Endorsement

Fuck Off, Ginger Campbell

Ginger Campbell pretty much gives up on the Blue Jays being able to hit and Darren has to shut him the fuck up. He should have just punched him in the face. I'm not being an optimistic moron here, I know they can't keep it up, but Ginger should know better than to doubt the hitting power of the 2009 Toronto Blue Jays.

The Winds Of Shit

This Shit Is Bananas

Ginger Campbell was joined at the helm by Darrin Fletcher, who provided viewers with insight on what it's like to be hit by a ball as a catcher after Carlos Quentin's foul tip hit Rod Barajas in the shoulder. The explanation used by Fletcher appears to have confused Campbell, who at the end seems to get lost in the example. It could also be very easy for a very simple minded writer to comment on how Ginger appears to enjoy black bananas for their "ripeness", but I like to pride myself on being better than that.

Bad Case Of Gingervitis

Fletcher and Ginger get together later in the game to provide harrowing insight on how much Brian Murphy looks like the injured Jesse Litsche. Now, I for one agree all gingers look the same, so good on Fletcher to bring it to the attention of everyone listening, especially those in retirement homes across Canada. I also understand the need for Ginger Campbell to come to the aide of his ginger brothers in his "fair skinned" conclusion. I don't think describing them as "disgusting, inhuman, inherently dumb, have no souls, and are unable to survive in the sunlight" would have gone over quite as well.

There's Something About Corky

Even though I had to shorten this clip you'll still notice the unbelieveable amount of time that passes as Ginger appears to be reading the shit out of Corky Miller's Wikipedia page. For those who may notice, Ginger's enthusastic introduction of Corky actually comes before Fletcher's comparison of Murphy and Litsche, but I made it nice and tidy, so we could all understand the essence of how fucking horrific it is when Campbell does, what I suppose could be considered colour commentary. I don't think I've ever heard Ginger Campbell be so clearly upset by a single GIDP by the Jays or RISP the Jays have stranded as much as I hear in this clip. Fuck you, Ginger Campbell.

Severe Acute Downs Syndome

O Fuck Off

Ginger Campbell reviews the day that Darren O'Day had as he debuts for the Texas Rangers the previous night. For those who don't remember, he was wearing Kason Gabbard's jersey because they weren't able to get O'Day's jersey ready in time for the game. Ginger gives us some additional details and Rance gives us his best impression of not giving a fuck about anything Ginger has to say.

The Death Of Wit

In his first game as closer for an injured Ryan, Downs has a 2-2 count on Taylor Teagarden. Toronto has a 5-2 lead and Downs has already recorded one out. Here is Ginger's commentary as Teagarden watches strike three.